Thoughts from the abyss

Anyone that knows me knows that from the middle of June until the middle of August is a tough time in life. This year I see that things have gotten better but there is still quite a bit of pain.  Its like a surgery scar, even though it heals sometimes there is still pain. Todays pain came from watching Jon and Kate plus 8.  Watching those children interact makes me miss CJ.  I know that he is still in my heart but I miss his physical presence.  I won’t dwell on the loss here but I will say, I believe that Rachel misses him too. To lose your child is a terrible experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone but I thank God for the eight days I was blessed with the prescense of CJ in my life. CJ is my families Guardian angel. And if I can’t have him physically here, I am happy to have him as my angel.