Thoughts from the abyss

How could a man who has three kids constantly treat them like crap?

My Father (herein known as SD for Sperm Donor) is a…. for lack of better word douch bag. See when I was younger I thought that maybe if I was a better child, or got better grades he would love me. My brother, sister and I tried everything to get him to notice that we needed him but he didn’t care. I spent too much of my life running around chasing him. I spent too many years of my life trying to make a man love me because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. His example taught me a lot of wrong things. Now this isn’t to say my mom didn’t try to teach me better because she did. It is just to say my father is truly not a nice person. I guess the funny part about it is that he is a………. Minister. Yep I said it. He leads people to the Lord but treats his own children like crap. Honestly if it wasn’t for my mom I don’t know where we would be.

When SD left us were in the middle of a Chicago winter and the furnace in the house was broken. I remember my mom, sis, bro, and I all sleeping in one room with a space heater. My mom, sis and I slept across the top of the bed and my brother slept sideways at the foot of the bed. I remember when SD didn’t come to my high school graduation because he said that he had a church service to go to. So I have cut him out of my life for the most part. Yes I still love him for helping my mother to give me life but anything other than that and I can’t do it. I am the only one that has cut him off so far but it is looking like it is soon coming time for my bro and sis to cut him off also. His loss though, His loss.